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Bimwe mu byo abakobwa bakunda ku basore

Posted on July 29, 2012 at 3:45 AM Comments comments (0)

Ese wowe ni iki cyaba kigukurura ku bahungu muri rusange cyangwa ku mugabo wishakiye ku buryo wumva amarangamutima yawe akwemeza kumukunda?

Urubuga slate.fr rwabajije ibibazo abakobwa tandukanye bagenda batanga ibibakurura kurusha ibindi ku gitsina gabo.

Mu byagaragaye, indoro y’umusore akenshi iba igaragaza icyo ashaka ikunze gukundwa n’abakobwa benshi. Ariko akenshi ngo biba byiza iyo ndoro itabeshya ni ukuvuga igaragaza ibiri mu musore cyangwa umugabo.

Ikindi abakobwa bakunda ngo ni abasore banini bafite n’amazuru manini cyangwa aringaniye kuko akenshi bahita biyumvisha ko umuntu munini aba ashoboye gukora, kandi yanarinda umukunzi we.

Umusatsi utari irende cyane na wo ni kimwe usanga abakobwa bakunda kandi bakanakunda umuhungu usabana kandi udapfa kurakazwa n’ubusa.

Dukomeje ku myitwarire, umuhungu utuma abantu bose bamwitaho nk’umuhanzi cyangwa umunyacyubahiro kandi akaba anafite ijwi ryiyubashye.

Kubera ko abakobwa benshi bakunda gusohokanwa, hari n’abandi bakunda abasore babasohokana maze bakabashimisha nko muri week-end, cyangwa mu yandi ma-sorties.

Hari kandi abandi bakunda umusore cyangwa umugabo ukunda kwitegerezanya ubwuzu ibice byabo by’umubiri bitandukanye nk’amabere, amabuno, cyangwa mu maso.

Hari n’abandi bakururwa n’ubumenyi bw’umusore; ni ukuvuga amagambo yuzuye ubwenge haba mu buzima busanzwe cyangwa se no mu bumenyi bwo mu ishuri.

Kuba tuvuze ku byo abakobwa babona ku bahungu ntibivuze ko abahungu bo ntabyo babona ku bakobwa bibakurura kuko bimwe muri ibi babihuriraho. Kandi akenshi abahungu bo bakunze gukururwa n’isura nziza cyangwa imiterere myiza y’umukobwa mbere yo kumenya neza umukobwa.

 

Bimwe mu byagufasha kumenya niba umuhungu ari mu rukundo

Posted on July 29, 2012 at 3:25 AM Comments comments (0)


NIBA URI UMUKOBWA WAKWIFASHISHA BIMWE MURI IBI TWAGUSOMEYE KUZINDI MBUGA ZA INTERNET

Maze ukamenya niba koko agukunda cyangwa se ko ashaka ko mwinjirana mu rukundo



1. Kugushyira muri gahunda ze z’ejo hazaza. Uyu muhungu ahora yihatira gukora ibikorwa bibafitiye mwembi ejo hazaza akamaro. Niyo ntacyo murageraho, wumva mu nzozi ze harimo kuzabana na we ubuzima bwe bwose.

2. Kugusekera cyangwa kumwenyurana ibinezaneza igihe akubonye, Umuhungu ugukunda niyo yaba ababaye, iyo akubonye kubera ko uba uri umuntu w’agaciro imbere ye no mu buzima bwe, aba yumva agiye kugutura agahinda ke akaruhuka kuko aba yizeye ko umutwaro afite ugiye kuwumwakira. Ni kimwe n’iyo yishimye, ahora yumva ashaka kugusangiza ibyishimo bye bya buri munsi ndetse bya buri mwanya.

3. Kugucira bugufi yagukorera ikosa akagira ishyaka ryo kugusaba imbabazi vuba kandi aciye bugufi, n’igihe ari wowe kandi wamukoshereje, iyo umusabye imbabazi ubikuye ku mutima arakumva akaziguha kandi akakugira n’inama ku buryo wazajya wirinda amakosa.

4. Kuguha impano zisanzwe zidahanitse kandi n’igihe runaka kitateguwe, nta mpamvu aziguhereye, nta kintu kidasanzwe wabaye. Izi mpano si izihanitse kuko akantu kose uhawe n’uwo ukunda kandi nawe agukunda wumva ari impano.

5. Gukunda kukwitegereza. Umuhungu ugukunda uzasanga akunda kukureba, aguhozaho ijisho, akantu kose ukoze niyo waba uzi ko atakubonye uzisanga yakubonye kare kandi neza, niho nusitara gahoro cyane uzumva yakubwiye ngo komera, niwitsamura cyangwa ukajya kwitsamura bikanga azahita akubwira ngo urakire, nimuvugana utishimye utari wabimubwira uzumva ahise akubaza ngo umeze ute cyangwa ngo uravuga nk’utameze neza.

 

6. Kukwisanzuraho kugeza ubwo akubwira amateka y’ubuzima bwe atandukanye ndetse akihatira kukubaza amateka yawe yose, uzasanga ashaka kumenyana n’abo mu muryango wawe, amateka yawe ya kera. Ibyo uzamubwira waciyemo bibabaje uzajya wumva bimubabaje n’ubwo byashize azajya akwihanganisha kandi ubyumve ko abikuye ku mutima koko.

7. Kukwemera uko uri kose.Umuhungu wagukunze akagera n’igihe agusaba urukundo ni uko uba waramunyuze mu by’ukuri. Igihe rero muzamarana igihe kirekire mukundana agakomeza kukubwira ko umunyura, akwishimira kandi agakomeza kukubaha nk’uko byatangiye. Abakundana bemerana ingeso buri umwe afite iyo ntacyo zibangamiraho urukundo rwabo, ariko nabwo abakundana barafashanya mu buryo butandukanye harimo gutozanya imico myiza no kwigishanya kureka utugeso tumwe na tumwe tubangamira ubuzima bwa buri munsi bakatureka.

8. Kukugirira ishema. Umuhungu ugukunda aterwa ishema na we, niho uzabona igihe mugendana agufata akaboko, ari nk’umurinzi wawe. Iki ni kimwe mu bimenyetso by’ingenzi bikoreshwa igihe abakundana bari kugendana. Iyo umuhungu agukunda aba yumva yanabyereka buri wese ko mukundana, aba yumva nta banga ririmo ko mukundana.

9. Kukwifungurira. Umuhungu utagira icyo aguhisha ndetse n’amakosa ye. Yewe n’iyo yagukoreye amakosa wowe ntuhite uyabona we aragutanga akayakwibwirira kandi akayagusabira imbabazi.

10. Uritondere abahungu bafite akarimi karyoshye kandi gashyushye. Ntibyoroha kwirengagiza amagambo aryoheye amatwi ariko ayo magambo akenshi aba yuzuye uburyarya. Amagambo akenshi arabeshya niyo mpamvu ari byiza cyane kugendera ku bikorwa n’imyitwarire bigaragara. Hari abahungu batabarika bigarurira abakobwa bakoresheje utugambo turyoshye kandi mu mitima yabo bafite izindi nyungu bagendereye bashaka kugeraho zitandukaye n’urukundo rw’ukuri.

Iga Gukemura Amakimbirane

Posted on November 9, 2011 at 3:20 AM Comments comments (0)


Ibikorwa Bishobora Gutera Kubaho kw' Amakimbirane


(Types of Managerial Actions That Cause Workplace Conflicts)



Conflict occurs with two or more people who, despite their first attempts at agreement, do not yet have agreement on a course of action, usually because their values, perspectives and opinions are contradictory in nature. Conflict can occur:



Within yourself when you are not living according to your values. When your values and perspectives are threatened. When there is discomfort from fear of the unknown or from lack of fulfillment.Conflict is inevitable and often necessary when forming high-performing teams because they evolve through “form, storm, norm and perform” periods. Getting the most out of diversity often means addressing contradictory values, perspectives and opinions. Conflict is often needed. It:


Helps to raise and address problems. Energizes work to be focused on the most important priorities. Helps people “be real” and motivates them to fully participate. Helps people learn how to recognize and benefit from their differences.Conflict is not the same as discomfort. The conflict is not the problem – poor management of the conflict is the problem. Conflict is a problem when it:


Hampers productivity. Lowers morale. Causes more and continued conflicts. Causes inappropriate behaviors.Types of Managerial Actions That Cause Workplace ConflictsCopyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD


1. Poor communications Employees experience continual surprises, for example, they are not informed of major decisions that affect their workplaces and lives. Employees do not understand the reasons for the decisions – they are not involved in the decision-making. As a result, they trust the “rumor mill” more than their management.


2. The alignment or the amount of resources is insufficient. There is disagreement about “who does what.” Stress from working with inadequate resources.


3.“Personal chemistry,” including conflicting values or actions, for example: Strong interpersonal natures among workers do not seem to match. We do not like others because they seem too much like ourselves (we often do not like in others what we do not like in ourselves).


4. Leadership problemsFor example, inconsistent, missing, too-strong or uninformed leadership (at any level in the organization), evidenced by:


Avoiding conflict, “passing the buck” with little follow-through on decisions. Employees see the same continued issues in the workplace. Supervisors do not understand the jobs of their subordinates. Key Managerial Actions / Structures to Minimize ConflictsCopyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD


1. Regularly review job descriptions. Get your employee’s input to them. Ensure: Job roles do not conflict. No tasks “fall in a crack.”


2. Intentionally build relationships with all subordinates.Meet at least once a month alone with them in office.Ask about accomplishments, challenges and issues.


3. Get regular, written status reports that describe:Accomplishments. Currents issues and needs from management. Plans for the upcoming period.


4. Conduct basic training about: Interpersonal communications. Conflict management. Delegation.


5. Develop procedures for routine tasks and include the employees’ input.Have employees write procedures when possible and appropriate. Get employees’ review of the procedures. Distribute the procedures. Train employees about the procedures.


6. Regularly hold management meetings with all employees. For example, every month, communicate new initiatives and status of current products or services.



7. Consider an anonymous suggestion box in which employees can provide suggestions. This can be powerful means to collect honest feedback, especially in very conflicted workplaces.

Ways People Deal With ConflictCopyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD


There is no one best way to deal with conflict. It depends on the current situation. Here are the major ways that people use to deal with conflict:


1. You can avoid it. Pretend it is not there or ignore it. Use this approach only when it simply is not worth the effort to argue. Be aware that this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time.


2. You can accommodate it. You can give in to others, sometimes to the extent that you compromise yourself. Use this approach very sparingly and infrequently, for example, in situations when you know that you will have another more useful approach in the very near future. Usually this approach tends to worsen the conflict over time, and causes conflicts within yourself.


3. You can compete with the others. You can work to get your way, rather than clarifying and addressing the issue. Competitors love accommodators. Use this approach when you have a very strong conviction about your position.


4. Compromising. You can engage in mutual give-and-take. This approach is used when the goal is to get past the issue and move on together.


5. Collaborating. You can focus on working together. Use this approach when the goal is to meet as many current needs as possible by using mutual resources. This approach sometimes raises new mutual needs. Collaboration can also be used when the goal is to cultivate ownership and commitment.


Gukemura Amakimbirane Hagati y' Abantu Babiri

 

 

 



Ibi nuramuka ubikurikije uzaba wubatse isi yose kandi uyihaye amahoro. Nibyiza gutanga ahahoro kuberako nta gihombo cy'uyatanze.



1. Know what you do not like about yourself, early on in your career. We often do not like in others what we do not want to see in ourselves. Write down 5 traits that really bug you when see them in others. Be aware that these traits are your “hot buttons.”


2. Manage yourself. If you and/or another person are getting upset, then manage yourself to stay calm: Speak to the person as if the other person is not upset – this can be very effective! Avoid use of the word “you” – this avoids your appearing to be blaming the person. Nod your head to assure the person that you heard him/her. Maintain eye contact with the person.


3. Move the discussion to a private area, if possible.Many times, moving to a new environment invites both of you to see or feel differently.


4. Give the other person time to vent.Do not interrupt the person or judge what he/she is saying.


5. Verify that you are accurately hearing each other. When the other person is done speaking: Ask the person to let you rephrase (uninterrupted) what you are hearing to ensure you are hearing it correctly. To understand the person more, ask open-ended questions (avoid “why” questions – those questions often make people feel defensive).


6. Repeat the above step, for the other to verify that he/she is hearing you. Describe your perspective: Use “I”, not “you.” Talk in terms of the present as much as possible. Quickly mention your feelings.


7. Acknowledge where you disagree and where you agree. One of the most powerful means to resolve conflict is to mention where you both agree.


8. Discuss the matter on which you disagree, not the nature of the other person. Ask “What can we do fix the problem?” The person might begin to complain again. Then ask the same question. Focus on actions you both can do. Ask the other person if they will support the action(s). If the person will not, then ask for a “cooling off period”.


9. Thank the person for working with you. It takes patience for a person to engage in meaningful conversation during conflict. Acknowledge and thank the other person for his/her effort.


10. If the situation remains a conflict, then: Conclude if the other person’s behavior violates one of the personnel policies and procedures in the workplace and if it does, then follow the policy’s terms for addressing that violation. Otherwise, consider whether to agree to disagree. Consider seeking a third party to mediate.


Uburyo 10 Wakwifashisha Wirinda Amakimbirane

Posted on November 9, 2011 at 2:50 AM Comments comments (0)

 


One of the most important skills you can learn and develop is how to deal successfully with conflict. Successful individuals seem to have an inherent understanding of what causes conflicts and how to resolve them quickly. For others, however, it’s much harder.


During my 20 years I’ve worked with people at all levels, in a wide swath of industries and across many countries. During those periods, I’ve learned that the best conflict managers often employ a few common approaches to prevent or overcome potential issues before they become major obstacles.


Use the following tips and tactics in your professional as well as your personal life. It could help you to become one those great “conflict resolution experts” that others may call on for help.


1: Ask questionsConflict can arise due to poor communication — someone didn’t say what they meant to say or perhaps misstated what was intended. Before you allow an escalation, ask questions. It won’t cause any loss of face, and may result in a quick resolution.


2: Analyze expectationsOften, conflicts develop as a result of unmet expectations on one side. If the other party — expected something they didn’t get or something that didn’t happen, the whole conversation can become negative and closed. If a conversation seems to be getting rocky, take a step back and review together with the other person to try to uncover what just occurred.


3: Recognize differing perspectivesKeep in mind that conflict may arise due to people having different perceptions. You, or the other person, saw things differently. This happens most frequently when one is dealing with someone from another organization, background, or culture. It’s easy to believe that we all see things the same way and then get derailed unexpectedly.


4. Identify mistakesHonest and unintended mistakes frequently result in conflict. Before you let temperatures rise, do a reality check of your understanding with the other person(s). Mistakes, even small ones, can erode one’s credibility — someone made a mistake.


5: Watch out for emotional triggersBeware of emotions. Fear of someone or somebody, loss of face, whether real or perceived, anger, and surprisingly even excitement can all result in unintended conflict, which may cause your interaction to go downhill.


6: Focus on preventing escalationConflict resolutions always start with one or both parties making an honest attempt at avoiding further escalation. This recognition, even if only by one of those involved, often causes a more objective review to occur.


7: Take action to control the situationEscalation-avoidance tactics may involve one of more key steps including separating the parties, changing the location of the discussion, signaling empathy to the other involved.


8: Commit to working it outTake charge of the process by committing to reach a resolution. A powerful impact occurs when one person makes this statement. It can turn down the temperature immediately.


9: De-escalate the conflictDe-escalation is next: This can be accomplished with a joint statement of the facts at hand, always eliminating exaggerations, embellishments or personalities, which may inadvertently apply judgments and re-created the cycle of escalation.

10: Stay calmCooler heads prevail in even the most difficult conflicts. Whether you’re in a business or personal situation, you can take control of it by keeping cool. And when you’re maintaining your calm, it will be easier for others involved to get back to the task at hand.

 


How do you tell some one " I love You"

Posted on August 18, 2011 at 5:15 PM Comments comments (0)

 

1-    Menya kwisobanurira ijambo urukundo. Ukuri mu kuvuga ijambo “Ndagukunda” ugukura ku gisobanuro uha urukundo ukunda uwo uribwiye. Numenya icyo gukunda bigusobanurira uzamenya no gushyira itandukaniro hagati y’urukundo utabasha gusobanura icyo rugendeyeho, gukururwa n’umuntu kubera umubonanye ikimero kikunyuze, kwifuza umuntu utamukunze.

2-    Rebana mu maso n’uwo ubwiye ijambo ”Ndagukunda”. Niba ukunda umuntu uzashimishwa no kumva wahora umureba mu maso by’umwihariko iyo umubwira ijambo ”Ndagukunda”. Kumureba mu maso umubwira iryo jambo bimwereka ko ari ukuri,nta buryarya urimubwiranye,bituma anagira icyizere ko iryo jambo rikuvuye ku mutima koko.

3-    Vuga “Ndagukunda” mu ijwi rikwiye. Rimubwire utuje, udasakuza kandi nabwo ariko wirimubwira nk’ufite urwikekwe n’ubwoba ngo bitume umubwira gahoro ku buryo ataryumva.

4-    Niba akwegereye ushobora kumutungura nk’ugiye kumubwira ikindi kintu ukarimwongorera mu matwi.

5-    Niba kandi iryo jambo rikujemo ukumva ushatse kurimubwira muri mu ruhame hamwe n’abandi bantu n’inshuti zanyu uzi ko umukunzi wawe atabangamirwa n’uko urimubwirira aho, rimubwire neza nta rwikekwe nk’uko usanzwe urimubwira muri mwembi gusa.

Biramushimisha cyane, abona ko kumukunda ubyishimiye, biguteye ishema kandi utabihisha no mu bandi bantu,ibi byiyongeraho n’uburyo umwita muri mu bantu cyane cyane inshuti zawe zanyu. Niba atabangamirwa n’uko umwita akazina usanzwe umwita wamuhitiyemo k’urukundo ni byiza ko uko umwita muri mwenyine ariko umwita n’igihe muri kumwe n’abandi bantu.

6-    Mubwire ”Ndagukunda” ubyishimiye, unamusekera cyangwa urimubwire udaseka (wikarumye) nyuma umusekere.

7-    Ashobora kudahita agusubiza ko nawe ko agukunda, wibyibazaho cyangwa ngo bikurakaze, wibyitaho cyane ngo ufate umwanya utegereje ko abanza nawe kukubwira ko agukunda,nibimuzamo arabikubwira igihe cye.Mu gihe umubwira iri jambo ibuka ko urukundo rw’ukuri rutagenzurwa rukoresha ibintu byizanye gutyo gusa kandi ntiruba rwiteze kubona inyishyu cyangwa ingurane y’ibyo rwakoze,icyo rukoze cyose rugikora nk’inshingano gusa rufite kuko niba ukunda umuntu by’ukuri uzumva ari mu nshingano zawe za buri gihe.

8-    Shaka uburyo bushya bwo kumubwiramo iri jambo. Rimubwire mu mvugo zitandukanye no mu ndimi zitandukanye niba mwembi  muzizi. (Ikinyarwanda, icyongereza, igifaransa, igiswahiri,..). Utu dushya ntidushirire gusa mu kumubwira ko umukunda ahubwo tuzane no mu bindi bitandukanye, mu bikorwa bifatika,mucire nk’akarabo aho unyuze ukakabona,gace ugatware mu gikapu nimuhura ukamuhe,mugurire akantu koroheje ukamushyire, nk’akabombo,agashikareti,….Mushushanyirize akarabo cyangwa akandi gashushanyo kamusetsa.Urugero ; umushushanye muri kumwe ku buryo busekeje wandikeho utugambo twiza uhisemo, umwibutsa nk’akantu kababayeho mwembi(urugero”Mwanyagiwe mwembi) Ibi ubikore n’intoki zawe,ku rupapuro ukoresheje ikaramu.

9-    Mufate ibiganga igihe umubwira “Ndagukunda”.Ibi nabyo bimwereka ko ufite ukuri muri iryo jambo umubwiye.

10-    Urimubwire kandi umwereka ko ari we gusa werekejeho ibitekerezo byawe byose,umureba mu maso by’umwihariko mu mboni ye kandi utuje.

Ubu buryo si bwo bukoreshwa gusa mu gihe ubwira umukunzi wawe ijambo “Ndagukunda” kandi buri muntu agira uburyo yumva bumunyuze,bumworoheye kandi azi neza ko bunyura kandi bushimisha umukunzi we.

Niba uburyo ushaka kwifata mu gihe ubwira umukunzi wawe ko umukunda atabikunda, irinde gukora ibimubangamira kuko nubimubwira muri ubwo buryo bumubangamira ntazigera aha iri jambo agaciro, ntirizanamushimisha kandi ntazumva ko urimubwiye umukunze koko cyangwa umwubashye.

Learn To Massage

Posted on August 18, 2011 at 4:30 PM Comments comments (0)


Step 1: Make some space

A soft bed may be perfect for lovemaking, but the ideal massage area is firm, flat, and stable, so you don't bounce your partner around as you move. (Think how unrelaxing it would be to get a massage on a jiggly water bed.) For maximum comfort, have your guy lie down on a futon mattress or pallet of blankets and place pillows under his neck, knees, and ankles.

Step 2: Break out the oil

Besides making your hands soft and warm, massage oil reduces friction and makes it easier to knead, rub, and stroke your guy's tired and stressed muscles. Scented oils can be erotic, "but steer clear of intense fragrances, like patchouli, which get cloying," says Steve Capellini, a licensed massage therapist in Miami and author of Massage for Dummies. Instead, try a light single scent, like jasmine, and warm the bottle in a bowl of hot water.

Step 3: Create a peaceful vibe

The tickling of loose hair or a lacy nightie might excite him (and you), but it can also take his focus off the deep, steady sensations of your massage. Tie your hair back and wear close-fitting clothes to minimize distractions. To avoid jarring chills, drape his naked body with sheets (uncover just the body part you're working on). If you play music, keep it soft and slow.

Step 4: Pick a spot, any spot

Pressed for time? Focusing on one part of his body — really focusing on it — can be even more decadent than a head-to-toe rubdown. If his back is in knots, concentrate on that. If he loves having his feet caressed, give them the royal treatment. Or keep it simple: Just ask him where he wants you to touch him.

Step 5: Get hands-on 

Compression is an easy movement to master and great for many body parts, says Inkeles. Just lay one hand flat on, say, his shoulder, press the other hand on top of it, and rotate slowly. Stroking works wonders on areas both large (back and thighs) and small (neck and tops of feet). Keep your fingers together, thumbs parallel, and palms in full contact with the part you're working, and make long, gentle movements. Apply more pressure when stroking toward your partner's heart, less pressure in the opposite direction. Kneading is perfect for fleshy areas such as biceps, buttocks, and thighs. Simply lift and squeeze the area you're working, with your palms in full contact with your partner's skin. Friction is done without oil and loosens up deep muscles. Anchor the area you're massaging with one hand, and use the other to deeply press and rub. For smaller areas like the shoulder caps, soles of the feet, and palms, apply friction with your fingertips. You can put any or all of these moves together in any order, depending on what your partner needs and how he responds to each touch. Try this basic routine to start (but feel free to add your own personal touches): Have your guy lie facedown. Apply friction to his shoulder caps. Squeeze a few drops of oil onto your hands and stroke his back. Next, knead his buttocks and thighs and stroke his calves. Finish off with a little bit of friction on the soles of his feet.

Step 6: Focus on the feelings

Intimate massage isn't about perfection, so don't worry about doing it "right." Try to stay in the moment. "The quality of your touch is more important than technique," says Peggy Morrison Horan, author of Connecting Through Touch and a founder of the Esalen Massage Program at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, CA. "Massage is about being emotionally present, touching your partner with intention, and paying attention to his reactions." What could be sexier than that?

 


Ibintu bishobora kugabanya ubushake bwo gutera akabariro ku bashakanye

Posted on August 11, 2011 at 1:45 PM Comments comments (0)

Ingo nyinshi usanga zisenywa n’uko umushyikirano w’umugabo n’umugore utagenda neza. Ibi bigakurura gucana inyuma, urwikekwe no gutandukana, bityo uburere bw’abana bukahazaharira. Hari ibintu byinshi bishobora gutambamira umushyikirano w’abashakanye. Twifashishije urubuga rwa internet: health.webmd.com, tukaba twagerageje kubakusanyiriza bimwe muri ibyo.

1. Ibibazo bitakemuwe: amakimbirane ndetse n’ibindi bibazo bivuka mu muryango ni bimwe mu bintu biza ku isonga mu kwangiza umushyikirano w’abashakanye. Ibi  bibazo bikaba bigira ingaruka ku bushake bwo gutera akabariro cyane cyane ku bagore. Ikiganiro ndetse no gushakira hamwe ibisubizo by’ibibazo biri mu muryango ni ingenzi mu mibanire myiza y’abashakanye.

 

2. Ibitotsi bikeya: kudasinzira bihagije k’umwe mu bashakanye bitewe n’uko  abyuka kare, aryama bitinze cyangwa bitewe n’ibindi bibazo byo mu mubiri, byangiza cyane ubushake bwo gutera akabariro kubera ko kubura ibitotsi bitera umunaniro mwinshi cyane bityo umugabo cyangwa umugore ntabashe kumva afite ubushake bwo gutera akabariro.

 

3. Urubyaro: ubusanzwe umuntu ashinga urugo kugira ngo abyare, ariko usanga nyuma yo kubyara wa mushyikirano abashakanye bagiraga utangira kugabanuka. Ibi bigaterwa n’uko abana babo bahora mu rugo basakuza cyangwa bakirana, maze ababyeyi bakabura ubwisanzure n’umwanya wo gutera akabariro.Ni byiza gushaka umwanya uhagije n’ahantu hatuje kugira ngo icyo gikorwa na cyo kigende neza.

 

4. Imiterere mibi (housing): iyo umwe mu bashakanye yiyumvamo ko ari mubi bimugabanyiriza ubushake bwo kuba yakwiyumva muri mugenzi we, bityo na cya gikorwa nyamukuru cy’abashakanye kikaba cyitakorwa uko bikwiye. Ni byiza rero guhora utaka uwo mwashakanye kugira ngo akomeze kwigirira icyizere imbere yawe.

 

5. Umubyibuho ukabije: umubyibuho ukabije wangiza cyane ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ku bashakanye bitewe n’uko abantu babyibushye bibagora gukora neza icyo gikorwa. Ibyo kandi ngo birushaho gukabya iyo batiyumvamo icyizere ndetse ko nta munezero bashobora kugeza kuri bagenzi babo.

 

6. Kudafata umurego kw’igitsina cy’umugabo: iki kiba ari ikibazo gikomeye cyane  igihe umugabo adashobora gutera akabariro biturutse mu kuba igitsina cye kidafata umurego uko byakagombye, bityo bigatuma yiyumvamo ko ntacyo ashoboye, bikamukururira guhurwa iki gikorwa cyo gutera akabariro.

 

7. Testosterone nkeya: testosterone ni umusemburo ukorwa n’udusabo tw’intanga, ukaba ari wo ugenga imikorere y’imyanya myibarukiro y’umugabo. Ukugabanuka k’uyu musemburo kugabanya ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. ibi bikunze kugaragara ku bantu bakuze kuko uno musemburo uba waragabanutse.

 

8. Kwiheba: ibi na byo byangiza ubushake bwo gutera urubariro bitewe n’uko umubira uba udatuje bitewe n’ibibazo umuntu aba afite.

 

9. Gucura: ngo kimwe cya kabiri cy’abagore baca ibyaro (bacura) batakaza ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina bitewe n’igabanuka ry’imwe mu misemburo ituma icyo gikorwa kigenda neza. Ibi bikagaragazwa no kubura ububobere mu gitsina ndetse no kubabara mu gihe cyo gutera urubariro.

 

10. Imiti imwe n’imwe: imiti umuntu afata mu gihe arwaye cyangwa kubera izindi mpamvu ishobora kumugabanyiriza ubushake bwo gutera urubariro.

 

Ni byiza ko abashakanye bamenya bimwe mu bintu bishobora guhungabanya ubusabane bwabo mu buriri kugira ngo babashe kubishakira umuti ndetse nibitabonerwa umuti babashe kubiganiraho kandi babyihanganire.

 


Ibimenyetso 10 Bizakwereka ko Umusore Mukundana Akwiyumvamo cyangwa se ko Agukunda by¬?Ukuri

Posted on August 8, 2011 at 5:40 AM Comments comments (0)

1. Yita ku rukundo mufitanye kandi akaruha agaciro

 

Aha ngo uzasanga akunda kukubaza uko ubona urukundo mufitanye rumeze, uko urwiyumvamo ibitagenda ndetse n’uko byakosorwa. Uzasanga ntetse akunda no kukubaza  amakuru y’inshuti zawe, ay’umuryango wawe ndetse n’uko bimeze ku kazi kawe mu gihe ugafite ,uko amasomo agenda niba wiga ndetse nubwo atabikubwira cyangwa se ngo akubaze byinshi ariko ugasanga  ahora ashaka kumenya byinshi  kuri wowe. Ibyo ukunda, inshuti zawe ndetse  no kumenya birambuye ibijyanye n’umuryango wawe kandi usange ahora akubaza icyakorwa kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu rutere imbere.

2. Uzasanga asobanukiwe kandi azi neza  ibigushimisha

Ngo niba umusore agukunda by’ukuri uzasanga azi neza ikintu ashobora kugukorera ku buryo wishima, ugaseka ukiyumva nk’umuntu udasanzwe mu  bandi bakobwa bose  baziranye na we. Uzasanga akubwira ibyo amatwi yawe akeneye kumva ndetse no mu gihe ubabaye akube hafi  ntakujye kure , usange araguhamagara buri kanya ashaka kumenya uko umerewe kandi akubwire amagambo  wumva ko asubiza umutima impembero, mbese agusubiza mu bihe by’umunezero. Uzabona ko azi imyenda yambara ukayishimira bityo naza kubonana nawe abe ari yo yambara, azi ubwoko bw’ikinyobwa n’ubw’ibiryo ukunda, aho ukunda gusohokera, ibyo ukunda gukora, usange ahora ashakisha uburyo ibigushimisha ari byo wibonamo kugira ngo uhore unezerewe.

3. Uzabona ari umuntu ukunda gutekereza no gukora hirya no hino kugira ngo agushimishe

Buri gihe uzasanga akunda guhora  ashakakisha , atekereza ku bintu  bitandukanye ashobora gukora kugira ngo ubuzima bwawe bwa buri munsi bukuryohere ndetse niba unezerewe, na we bimugireho ingaruka cyangwa se niba ubabaye ubone na we byamukozeho abure amahoro ubone ko ahangayikishijwe n’ibihe bitari byiza urimo ndetse anabibwire inshuti ze aho ushobora kubona bagenzi be haguhamagara bakubaza uko umerewe, akuzanire akantu utatekerezaga ndetse akakubaza n’uko ubyakiriye.

4. Aguhamagara ntacyo agamije cyangwa se nta kintu agendereye

Aha ngo uzasanga hari ubwo aguhamagaye wumve abuze icyo akubwira mbega nta kintu gifatika aguhamagariye, uretse kukubwira ko agukunda kandi ko agukumbuye. Ngo naguhamagara ntakubaze icyo uri gukora, uwo muri kumwe ibi rero ngo ahanini abiterwa n’uko iyo mutari kumwe aba agutekereza akumva ko hari ikibura muri we ko atuzuye kugira ngo yumve aguwe neza akaguhamagara wenda kugira ngo yumve ijwi ryawe. Ibi rero ngo nta kindi kiba kibimutera ni ukukwiyumvamo n’urukundo rw’ukuri aba agukunda kandi akumva ko ukenewe kugira ngo ubuzima bwe bube bwuzuye.

 5. Yifuza kumarana igihe kinini nawe/ igihe muri kumwe ntaba yifuza ko mwatandukana

Aha ngo uzasanga niba koko akwiyumvamo, igihe  cye cyose afite atari gukora yifuza ko mwaba muri kumwe, mbega igihe cyose akumva ko yakwihoranira nawe, akumva kandi yakubona hafi ye. Aha ngo igihe muri kumwe uzabona ko ashaka ko museka, muganira ku buzima bwanyu buri imbere, muvuga ku byabateza imbere aho kugira ngo yikunde cyangwa se akuzaneho iby’irari rye gusa. Usanga apanga gahunda ye neza ku buryo akubonera umwanya uhagije mukavugana.

6. Iyo urimo kumubwira ikintu aba aguhanze amaso/akwitayeho

Iki ngo ni kimwe mu bimenyetso byerekana ko agufitiye urukundo kandi ko wamukuruye. Iyo  akureba mu maso biba bisobanura ko nta kindi ari gutekereza ahubwo ko agukurikiye ashimishijwe cyane no kumva ikintu kiguturukamo bikavuga ko imitima yanyu iri kumwe.

7. Yifuza kukumenya birambuye

Niba koko akwiyumvamo kandi akagufata nk’umuntu udasanzwe uzasanga akunda kukubaza icyo warose nijoro, ibyo wifuza kugeraho mu buzima, ibyo uteganya, uko wabayeho mutaramenyana, akifuza ko umusangiza ubuzima wabayeho, ibyakubabaje, ibyo ukeneye kugira ngo ubuzima bugende neza ndetse nubwo waba ubona ko ntacyo yabikoraho bitewe n’ubushobozi  bwe, ibyo ukunda, ibyo wanga n’ibigushimisha. Iki ngo ni ikimenyetso gikomeye cyerekana ko umusore agukunda kandi ko akwiyumvamo.

8. Iyo muri kumwe aba ashaka kuguhobera cyane ndetse no kugukorakora

Aha ngo iyo yishimira kugukorakora no kuguhobera akagukomeza ubona ko ntabuhehesi burimo cyangwa se atagamije gutuma utwarwa kugira ngo abe yagukoresha imibonano mpuzabitsina ahubwo ko ari ibizongamubiri bimurimo, ngo rwose aba agukunda  akifuza ko nawe wakumva urukundo rumurimo mugasangira ibyishimo. Kandi ngo n’igihe muri kumwe mu nzira mugendana agakunda kugufata ukuboko cyangwa se mu kiganza igihe agiye kukubwira ikintu akakureba mu maso.

9. Mu gihe wagize ibyago agaragaza uruhare rwe kandi akakuba hafi

Niba wabuze umuvandimwe, umubyeyi cyangwa se n’ikindi kintu cyari kigufitiye akamaro, ngo ukabona umusore w’incuti yawe ashaka kuba nyambere mu kukwegera no kukuba hafi, cyangwa se niba wabuze nk’umwe mu muryango ugasanga ahageze mbere, agufashije kubimenyesha abandi, akohereje ubutumwa bwo kukwihanganisha, azanye n’inshuti ze kwifatanya nawe mu gihe cy’umubabaro, arakora hirya no hino kugira ngo ibintu bikorwe neza ndetse akomeze no kugushakira utuntu dutandukanye kugira ngo uve mu gihe cy’umubabaro wongere gusubira mu byishimo, rwose ngo ni ikimenyetso nyacyo cyerekana ko akwiyumvamo kandi ko ufite icyo uvuze mu buzima bwe.

10. Aguha impano zishamaje

Aha ngo si ngombwa ko  impano zishamaje ziba zihenze kugira ngo ubone ko agukunda ahubwo ngo uzasanga aguha wenda n’izo yikoreye, yavanye mu bukorikori bwe, akarabo aciye ahantu ku nzira se, agafoto kanditseho utugambo tw’urukundo n’ibindi ariko bifite icyo bisobanuye mu rukundo.

Ngira ngo nk’uko mwabibonye rero hari ibimenyetso byinshi bishobora kukwereka ko wowe n’umusore mukundana hari urukundo nyarwo kandi ko akwiyumvamo. Jya ukora uko ushoboye ugenzure ko ibi bimenyetso bihari bityo bibe byakwereka uko uhagaze ndetse n’agaciro ufite mu buzima bw’umusore muri kumwe mu rukundo.

 


Uburyo 7 bwo Kwirinda Umunaniro

Posted on July 21, 2011 at 12:06 PM Comments comments (0)

Akazi kenshi, intonganya zo mu ngo, indyo nkene, ubusinzi ndetse no kunywa itabi ni bimwe mu bishobora gutera indwara y’umunaniro. Iyi ndwara imaze kugaragara ko ari mwe mu zibasiye abantu benshi muri iki gihe kandi uwo yibasiye ngo bishobora kumugabanyiriza amahirwe yo kuramba ku isi.

Mu rwego rwo kwirinda no kurwanya ingaruka mbi zishobora guturuka ku munaniro, umuganga.com twabateguriye uburyo bugera kuri burindwi umuntu yakwirindamo iyi ndwara.

1. Kugerageza gukora buri kintu mu mwanya wacyo: Ibi wabigerageza wirinda icyo ari cyo cyose cyakurangaza mu gihe uri mu kazi. Muri ibyo, harimo nko kwitaba telefoni, gusoma no kohereza ubutumwa.

2. Koroshya ingengabihe yawe ya buri munsi: Aha icyo usabwa ni ugutegura ibyo ugomba gukora uhereye ku by’ingenzi kurusha ibindi. Ikindi, ugomba no guteganya umwanya w’ akaruhuko hagati y’igikorwa n’ikindi.

3. Gukora imyitozo ngororamubiri (sport): Ibi ntibisaba ubuhanga runaka muri sport kuko n’udukino tworoshye nko kwihishana, kugenda n’amaguru no kwidagadura byagufasha mu kwirinda iyi ndwara.

4. Kwiyubaka mu buzima: Ibi wabigerageza urya indyo yuzuye irimo imboga n’imbuto, wirinda kunywa itabi ukananywa amazi meza aho kunywa ibinyamasukari. Kuri ibyo ukongeraho kuruhuka bihagije.

5. Gushaka ibintu biguhuza: Ibi ntibishatse kuvuga ko wakora akazi kenshi, ahubwo ni ukugerageza gukora ibintu bikwibagiza imvune wahozemo (akazi). Muri ibyo twavuga nko koga, gusoma udukuru dutandukanye no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina irenze iminota itanu ku babyemerewe.

6. Kwitondera imicungire y’umutungo: Ibi wabikora wirinda imyenda/amadeni yo mu rwego rwo hejuru cyangwa se imikino igusaba amafaranga.

7. Kubyuka kare: Iyo ubyutse kare bikurinda gukererwa haba mu kazi cyangwa se mu ishuri. Jya ugerageza kwiha igihe cyo kwitegura buri kimwe cyose ugiye gukora. Ibi kandi bigufasha gukoresha igihe cyawe uko bikwiye. 


Kuki gukorakoranaho mu gihe cy¬?imibonano mpuzabitsina ari ngombwa?

Posted on July 11, 2011 at 2:05 PM Comments comments (0)

Ugukorakoranaho(Caresses) bifite akamaro kanini. Byongera ibyishimo ku mubiri w’umugabo n’umugore, bikongera ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina ndetse ubwabyo bishobora gutuma umugore agira ububobere nta kindi gikorwa cyabayeho.

Bimaze kugaragara ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ari igikorwa cy’ingenzi mu buzima bwa muntu. Muri iki gihe rero  ikorwa bitandukanye n’uburyo bwahozeho mu bihe byashize, aho umwe mu bashakanye bitewe n’ubushake bwinshi yatunguraga mugenzi we agahita amukoresha imibonano mpuzabitsina nta yindi nteguza.

Gusa ngo n’ubwo abantu babyaye hungu na kobwa, ubushakashatsi bwagiye bukorwa bwagaragaje ko kudategurana bigira ingaruka mbi ku mubiri, ku bwonko ndetse no mu mibanire y’abashakanye, ariko cyane cyane ku bagore.

Ibyiza by’iki gikorwa byasobanurwa mu nzego eshatu:

1. Mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina

Muri iki gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina ugukorakoranaho cyangwa karese (caresses) nk’uko benshi bakunze kubyita, bifite akamaro kanini cyane mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Icya mbere ni uko byongera  ibyishimo ku mubiri w’umugabo ndetse n’uw’umugore mu gihe hari kuba kwiyongera k’ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina.

Icya kabiri ni uko karese ubwazo zituma umugore agera ku rugero nyarwo rw’umunezero mu gihe iyo imibonano ibaye ihutiweho usanga umugabo arangiza imibonano mpuzabitsina umugore ari bwo we yumva akiyitangira.

Iki gikorwa cyo gukorakoranaho si ku bagore gusa gifite umumaro munini ahubwo no ku bagabo ngo ni ingenzi. Mu busanzwe abagabo usanga baba bakeneye kumva ibyishimo umwanya muremure mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina, ariko ngo ntibikunze kubakundira kuko usanga bitewe n’ubushake bwinshi bahita batangira igikorwa nyamukuru bigatuma banagisoza vuba nta byishimo birambye bagize ; bivuga ko hari inzego baba basimbutse. Abagore rero bakunda abagabo babo barabakorakora cyane kugira ngo babahe umunezero mwinshi nk’uwo na bo babona.

Ese kuki hagira umwe mu bakora imibonano mpuzabitsina usimbuka  inzego zimwe na zimwe agahita agera mu ijuru rya karindwi (le septième ciel), kandi  mu by’ukuri bakagombye kugenda bazamuka urwego ku rundi.

Mu bikorwa, abashakashatsi bagaragaje ko iminwa n’intoki ari byo byiza mu gihe umugore n’umugabo bari ku rugero rumwe rw’ubushake bw’imibonano mpuzabitsina. Akenshi icyo bombi bakora ni ugusomana akanya kanini ku munwa no ku mabere (umugabo n’umugore). Gukorakora rugongo n’udusabo tw’umugabo ntibabyibagirwa. Ikindi ni uko kubwirana utugambo twiza tw’urukundo mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina  biri mu bizamura  ubushake n’ibyishimo (effet d'ascenseur).

Bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye umugabo ashobora kurangiza vuba. Iki kibazo abagore baracyihanganira kuko kuri bo ngo umugabo  umukorakoye neza ari we afata nk’uwamuhaye ibyishimo nyabyo. Ngo abagore bafata karese nk’aho ari rwo rukundo ndetse n’icyubahiro cy’umubiri wabo .

2.Nyuma y’imibonano mpuzabitsina

Nyuma y’imibonano mpuzabitsina usanga abayikoze bakomeza gukorakoranaho umwe ashimira undi igikorwa kirangiye. Gusa ikibazo gikunze kubaho ni uko nyuma y’imibonano mpuzabitsina usanga abayikoranye bombi batayisoza bishimye ku rugero buri wese aba yifuza.kandi koko ntibyoroshye.

Mu bikorwa: Nta kindi hano cyakorwa uretse kumenya ko umugore atishimira imibonano mpuzabitsina ihutiweho (une stimulation trop directe est vraiment désagréable chez les femmes). Naho abagabo bo bishimira cyane amagambo meza no kubashima haba ku mubiri wabo ndetse no ku gikorwa cyabo.

3. Gukorakorana bitanga ubushake bikongera n’umunezero

Ni gute umuntu yabaho nta karese? Uhereye mu ivuka, igihe umuntu aba akiri muto usanga akeneye karese z’umubyeyi we kugira ngo bumvikane (pour communiquer) ndetse kugira ngo yumve atekanye.

Ku bakundana rero usanga iki gikorwa cyo gukorakoranaho ari ingenzi kuko buri wese atanga kandi akanakira ibyishimo bikwiriye.

Mu gihe umwe azi umubiri w’undi neza bituma abasha kumuha ibyishimo by’ingenzi.  Ni ngombwa rero ko abakundana babwirana ibice by’umubiri wabo byumva cyane kurusha ibindi. Ku bantu bize ibya siyansi (science) bo bavuga ko karese zituma umubiri wibyaramo ibintu karemano bifite umumaro wo kugabanya uburibwe no kumva umuntu amerewe neza cyane (les endorphines) ndetse n’ibindi bituma umutima utera ku rugero rwiza (l'ocytocine).

Mu yandi magambo, gukorakoranaho cyangwa se karese bitanga ibyishimo byinshi. Byaba ikibazo rero hagize ubyibuza!


Kugira Ubushyuhe bw'Imibonano-mpuzabitsina (des ťrections) ku Mugabo ni Agahoraho, Bikaba Ari Ikinyuranyo ku Bagore!

Posted on July 11, 2011 at 1:54 PM Comments comments (0)



Umubare munini w’abagabo bumva bashaka gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kabone n’iyo baba bafite ubwoba, bananiwe cyangwa bahangayitse kuko igitsina cyabo kibibagiza kikababeshya ko batuje, ko nta n’ikibazo gihari.


Ibi ngo si ko bigenda ku bagore kuko bo baba bategereje kuruhuka no gushimishwa  berekwa ibyiza badasanzwe bazi n’abagabo babo cyangwa inshuti zabo.


Ururbuga www.topsante.com rudutangariza ko ari byiza kumenya iri tandukaniro kuko hari ababifata kimwe bikaba byatuma batamenya kwitwara neza mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.

      

Kugira ubwo bushyuhe birasanzwe nk’uko rimwe na rimwe biza bitunguranye ndetse bitanagira aho bihuriye no gutekereza ku bitsina.


Aha abagore benshi bemera ko ari ubushobozi bw’abagabo bityo bikaba byabatera kwiyumva nk’ibikoresho by’abagabo babo mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina igihe cyose batabyisabiye.


Abagore rero ngo gushimishwa n’uko abagabo babo bameze neza ntibabyiyumvisha, ni na yo mpamvu bakunze kugabanya umuvuduko w’umushyuhe udashira w’abagabo babo.


Kuruhuka umaze kunywa icyayi cya mugitondo ngo na byo biri mu bituma ubushake bwiyongera kuko haba hari ingufu (energies caloriques) ziyongera ndetse bikagabanya n’umunaniro.


Ikindi kintu gishobora gutuma bwa bushake bwiyongera ni ukuryama ahantu hatuje kandi hahumura, ni naho abatereta benshi bakunze guhitamo.


Gusomana na byo bituma ibyiyumvo bifunguka bikaba byakurizaho kugera ku gikorwa cya nyuma, cyane cyane iyo bikozwe byumvikanyweho.


Uretse gusomana no gukorakorana cyangwa se amagambo aryoshye kandi atuje na byo biri mu bizamura ubushake bikanatinza imibonano mpuzabitsina.

 


Niba Utereta Bakagutera Utwatsi, Menya Inzira Nziza Wanyuramo!

Posted on July 8, 2011 at 2:05 PM Comments comments (0)

 

Waba usaba ubucuti abakobwa bakagutera utwatsi? Sobanukirwa impamvu bikugendekera gutyo ndetse umenye n’ibyo usabwa kugira ngo ukunde ubone umukobwa w’inzozi zawe




Hari abasore/abahungu bamwe na bamwe basaba ubushuti  ariko ugasanga ntibikunze kubahira, buri gihe bagahora baterwa utudobo (babengwa) ariko ntibamenye impamvu ibitera ndetse ugasanga rimwe na rimwe bakurijemo no kwiheba cg se gucika integer, aho bamwe bafata umwanzuro ko nta mukobwa n’umwe bazongera gutereta cyangwa se bagakomeza gukoresha uburyo budakwiye bigakomeza kubapfana; ibi bigatuma bamwe bibaza ibibazo byinshi, harimo nko kwibaza niba ari uko nta gikundiro bafite, amafaranga  se, n’ibindi.  Burya rero ngo si ko biri kuko  uko waba umeze kose ushobora gusaba ubushuti ukabuhabwa ahubwo ngo ikibazo ni uko waba ubikora mu buryo  butari bwiza.


Dore rero inama zo gukurikiza ubundi ugasaba urukundo kandi ukaruhabwa:



Wowe muhungu/musore, igihe cyose ufashe umwanzuro wo kujya gusaba ubucuti, banza umenye ko atari itegeko ko buri mukobwa wese usabye ubucuti agomba kukwemerera nubwo wahatiriza  gute kuko bishoboka ko uwo  mukobwa yaba afite indi ncuti, afite ibindi bimuhugije cyangwa se yumva atanameze neza ku buryo yakwinjira mu by’urukundo, dore ko bitanoroshye. Rero mbere y’uko ujya gusaba ubucuti  banza umenye ko ibi byose bishobora kubaho. Mu gihe kandi bikubayeho wicika intege cyangwa se ngo ufate umwanzuro wo kubireka burundu, komeza ugerageze  kuko uwo si we wawe, uzabona undi mukobwa w’inzozi zawe.

Ngo haba hari amakosa menshi ajya akunda gukorwa n’abasore iyo barimo kwaka ubucuti ariko ntibabimenye, nyamara ngo mu gihe wabimenye ntabwo bishobora kukwangira. Niba rero wifuza gusaba ubucuti bikaguhira burya ngo gerageza kwirinda amakosa akurikira kuko wasanga ari yo mpamvu bitajya biguhira hanyuma unakurikize inama uribugirwe:



1. Ikosa  rya mbere ugomba kwirinda ni iryo kugaragaza ko utifitiye icyizere imbere y’uwo usaba ubucuti

Ngo mu gihe urimo uvugisha cyangwa se uganiriza umukobwa wumva yakubera incuti, gerageza umwereke ko wifitiye icyizere kuko ngo burya abakobwa bakunda abasore bigirira icyizere. Muvugishe wisanzuye kandi ucisha make kuko ngo numuvugisha wikomeje, umukanga,  nta cyo azakumarira. Ariko numwisanzuraho kandi ugacisha make azakwisanzuraho akubwire byinshi wifuza kumumenyaho, ari yo nzira yo kukwemerera ubucuti.2. Irinde ikosa  ryo guhubuka umubwira ibigambo byinshi n’imitoma itagira ingano



2.Burya ngo abakobwa benshi ntibakunda abasore bahubuka , bakunze kugira ibigambo byinshi ndetse bakanabivanga n’imitoma mu gihe bitari ngombwa. Akenshi rero abahungu bakora ibi bagira ngo ni bwo bari bukurure abakobwa ariko burya  ngo si ko biri kuko biba bigaragaza ko ibyo bintu uvuga uhubutse bitagufasheho bityo ngo akabona ko udakomeye mu byo uvuga. Mugihe rero ngo ugiye gusaba ubucuti genda wiyoroheje (wibigira intambara), umusuhuze unamwibwire mu gihe ubona ashobora kuba atakuzi neza, umubwire n’utundi tugambo dusazwe nko kumubaza niba yaryohewe, uko ijoro ryamugendekeye, n’ibindi bitewe n’igihe, wirinde kumusaba ubucuti ako kanya, bityo ngo azabona ko uri umuntu warezwe kandi ushobora gusabana biguheshe amanota meza imbere ye.



3. Irinde kuba wamuhagarara iruhande cyangwa se ukamurindira igihe kinini  mu gihe ari kumwe na bagenzi be (abakobwa b’inshuti ze)

Iri ngo ni ikosa rikomeye rikunda gukorwa n’abahungu benshi, ukabona umukobwa ari kumwe na mugenzi we bakeneye kwiganirira utuntu twabo, na we kuko wumva wamuhora iruhande ntubahe akanya ngo biganirire. Ibi rero ngo bibangamira abakobwa batari bake aho baba babona atari ikinyabupfura cy’umuntu  wifuza ko yakubera inshuti.

Mu gihe ubonye ngo arikumwe cyangwa se ahuye n’izindi nshuti ze mubwire ko wishimiye kumubona, no kumenyana n’izo ncuti ze umusabe nimero ye ya telephone, hanyuma ubabwire  ko udashoboye gukomeza kuba hamwe na bo  kubera izindi gahunda ufite, ubasezere wigendere ubundi ukomeze gahunda zawe, werekane ko ufite ubuzima bwawe kandi uzi kubwitwaramo,  icyo wari kumubwira uzakimubwire ubutaha  cyangwa uze kumuhamagara ugeze  mu masaha ukeka ko adahuze, hanyuma na wa mukobwa usaba urukundo, azibuka ko  wamwubashye kandi ukubaha n’inshuti ze, abone ko witwara nk’umuntu ufite ikinyabupfura kandi warezwe abe yakwifuza ko wazamubera ishema no muri bagenzi be ndetse kandi ngo n’umwe bari bari kmwe azamugushimira.



4. Irinde ikosa ryo kwaka nimero cyangwa se kubaza andi makuru wifuza kumenya  ku mukobwa hanyuma ngo nurangiza uhite ujya kuvugisha undi mukobwa  na wa wundi wifuza kwaka ubucuti agihari akureba

Ibi rero ngo ni bibi cyane kuko wa mukobwa ahita abona ko nta gahunda ugira  kandi ko ukunda abakobwa benshi. Mu gihe  rero ngo umaze kumwaka numero ye ya telephone, hita ugenda niba hari na gahunda wari ufitanye n’abandi bakobwa hafi aho ube uretse, ubikore ariko yagiye ngo naho ubundi biguha isura itari nziza imbere ye hakaba nubwo  ushobora no kuza kumuhamagara ntanakwitabe kuko nta gihe cyo guta ku muhungu nk’uwo afite.



 5. Wikora ikosa ryo kwiyemera imbere ye (Kumwereka ko uri umuntu ukomeye)

Usanga abasore benshi bibwira ko nibatiyemera ngo bivuge ibigwi abakobwa batari bubemere ariko ngo burya si ko biri, itondere kuba uri imbere y’umuntu wifuza kwaka ubucuti ngo  utangire kumbwira uko ukomeye, amafaranga ufite,  akazi ukora, inzu ubamo, ubwoko bw’imodoka utunze cyangwa se n’undi mutungo wawe, kuko ngo ibi abakobwa benshi  bifuza gukunda no gukundwa urukundo nyakuri atari byo baba bifuza kumenya ku ikubitiro. Ahubwo ngo jya ugerageza kuba uwo uri we, ibindi byose nubwo waba ubifite; nk’ako kazi keza n’imodoka, azaba abimenya kuko ntibigura urukundo cyangwa se ngo bibe byatuma agukunda  ndetse kandi niyo waba utanabifite irinde kwiyerekana uko uteri; icyo usabwa ni ukumwereka uko uri akagukundira uwo uri we ntagukundire ibyo ufite.

Ngo nubwo akenshi usanga abantu benshi bibwira ko abakobwa bakunda abasore bafite ibintu ariko ngo burya si ko biri ababibakundira ntabwo baba bafite urukundo kuko ngo n’ikizabikwereka ni uko iyo yabigukundiye bikageza ho bigashira akwanga. Aha rero ngo menyako abakobwa bakunda ababereka ko bazabaha urukundo nyakuri, bakabatetesha, kuruta uko wamwereka ibintu, aha ngo icyabikwemeza ni uko ushobora kubona umusore ufite ibintu ndetse n’uburanga ari bwose  ariko ntakundwe, ariko hakaba n’ufite duke ariko ugasanga yigondeye umukobwa w’igishongore. Ibi rero ngo nta kindi bisaba uretse kwerekana ko uri umugabo nyamugabo ushobora kwifatira icyemezo runaka, ko uri umuhanga, ko ufite urukundo, ko uzamutetesha kandi ko ufite n’ubushobozi bwo kwitanga mu gihe bibaye ngombwa kuko ngo ibi ari byo akenshi abakobwa baba bifuza ku basore bumva bazagiraho ubucuti, naho ibindi bikaza ari inyongera.

Mugihe rero wowe musore uzirinda aya makosa yose ndetse ugakurikiza inama wagiye uhabwa, ngo hehe no kongera guterwa akadobo (kubengwa) cyangwa  ngo witinye utekereza ko nta wakwemera, kuko wabonye uko ugomba kubyitwaramo ubundi ukabona umukobwa w’inzozi zawe.


Abagore b'Amabuno Manini ngo Baba abyara abana b'Abanyabwenge kandi bakaba n'Ibiyobyabwenge ku bagabo

Posted on July 8, 2011 at 1:56 PM Comments comments (0)

Abagore b’amabuno manini ngo baba babyara abana b’abanyabwenge kandi bakaba n'ibiyobyabwenge ku bagabo 

Ubushakashatsi bwashyizwe ahagaragara n’impirimbanyi zo muri Univerisite y’i Georgia Gwinnett muri leta zunze ubumwe za amerika bwerekana ukuntu umukobwa w’amataye (ikibuno/Taille/ hips /curves) ari ikiyobyabwenge ku bwonko bw’umugabo cyo kimwe na Cocaine. Muri Universite y’i Pittsburgh iri i California, berekana ukuntu umugore ufite amataye abyara abana b’abanyabwenge cyane, mu buryo bwa science.N’ubwo ku isi, abenshi mu bagabo bakunda abagore bafite amataye, ngo kubona umukobwa uteye neza ariko cyane cyane ufite amataye bitwara ubwenge bwa buri mugabo wese, bikamujyana ku bitekerezo byo kuba yakora imibonano mpuzabitsina, aho aba bashakashatsi banahise bavuga ko ngo ibi bishobora kuba byanagaragaza impamvu abagabo ari bo bantu bakunze kugaragaraho umuco wo kureba amashusho y’ubusambanyi Pornographie, kurusha abagore.

Ngo muri ubu bushakashatsi imibiri y’abastarikazi (Superstars) cyane cyane Beyoncé, Rihanna na Jennifer Lopez basanze ari yo ishitura abagabo batari bake kuri iyi si dutuye.

Agace kubwonko kagenga ukwishimisha kw’imibiri gashegeshwa cyane no kubona umugore ufite bene aya mabuno,  aka gace kandi gashobora gushiturwa n’ibiyobyabwenge, nk’inzoga n’ibitabi bikaze.  Steven Platek, umwarimu ku mikorere y’ubwonko muri Univerisite y’i Georgia Gwinnett (College), muri Texas ho muri USA niwe wemeza ibi. Yahise atangaza ko bishobora kugenderwaho bakabona impamvu n’umuti ku mikorere isa n’aho yayobye mu mbijyanye n’imibonano mpuzabitsina ku bagabo, irimo gutwarwa no kureba amafilme y’urukozasoni no kwikinisha.

Babyara abana b’abanyabwenge cyane

Ubushakashatsi bwakorewe na Universite y’I Pittsburgh i California,USA ku badamu n’abakobwa bagera ku 16,000, bwemeje ko abana babyawe n’abagore b’amataye manini baza ku myanya y’imbere mu mitsindire y’amasomo nk’uko ba nyina babigenzaga bacyiga.

Muri uru rujyano, ngo mu kubyara abana b’abanyabwenge kurusha abandi kubera amataye, abagore ngo bahabwa agaciro cyane muri Amerika ni abafite amataye ariko banabyibushye, aho babise Omega-3.

Kuvuga ko umugore afite Omega -3 ni ibintu bijyanye na science, mu kureba abagore ukurikije ububyibuhe bwabo n’ubwenge baba bafite. Ku rubuga rwa internet Wikipedia handitse ko ngo abagore bafite amataye (hips /curves) baba bafite uturemangingo tw’ububyibuhe dufasha mu mikorere myiza y’ubwonko bw’umubyeyi cyo kimwe no mu kurema ubwenge butekereza ku buryo buhambaye bw’umwana atwite.

Utu turemangingo tw’akataraboneka twitwa mu cyongereza omega-3 fatty acids. Ku bw’utu turemangino ngo abagore bafite amataye ntibamererwa nabi n’inda cyangwa ngo bananirwe buri kanya kuko batwite. Kandi na none abana b’aba babyeyi bakaza bafite ubwenge buhambaye nk’uko byemezwa na mwalimu Steven Gaulin wari ukuriye ubushakashatsi bw’ikipe y’abanyeshuri bo muri kaminuza ya Santa Barbara, muri USA.

Ku bagore baba bafite igihimba cyibumbye nka pomme, ari bo ba bandi babyibushye umubyimba wose ku buryo usanga n’amataye yaraburiyemo, ngo bo baba bafite uturemangingo tw’ububyibuhe twinshi cyane ku kigero kingana na  omega-6 fatty acids, bitajya byemerera ugukura no gutera imbere k’ubwenge bw’umwana uri munda ndetse na nyina ugasanga yaguwe nabi mu gihe atwite.

Nyuma y’ibi rero niho abashakashatsi basubije amaso inyuma maze batangira kwibaza ukuntu abantu bakera bamenyaga ko umugore w’amataye ari we mwiza kurusha abandi ; bakamurwanira ndetse bakanamwubaha kurusha abandi badamu hamwe na hamwe nko muri USA ndetse no mu Misiri ha kera.  No mu Rwanda bigaragara mu bisigo byahimbiwe abagore ko naho aba bagore babaga bakunzwe cyane kandi ububushakashatsi bwari butarashyirwa ahagaragara.

 


Ibikorwa 20 by?urukundo umukobwa n?umuhungu bashobora gukora kugira ngo bashimishanye

Posted on July 8, 2011 at 1:48 PM Comments comments (0)


Abantu benshi binjira mu rukundo bagakunda bakanakundwa ariko hakabaho igihe usanga urukundo rwabo rudakura cyangwa se ngo rubaryohere. Ugasanga rimwe na rimwe batumva ibyiza byo kuba mu rukundo, kutaryoherwa na rwo cyangwa se bikaba byanabaviramo no gutandukana (separation) bitewe n’uko bataba bitaye ku byo umwe ashobora gukorera undi kugira ngo bashimishanye ku mpande zombi bityo n’urukundo rwabo rurambe.


Ku bw’ibyo, waba umukobwa cyangwa muhungu,  dore ibintu umuganga.com  wagushakashakiye ushobora gukora kugira ngo ubagarire urukundo kandi unashimishe uwo ukunda( your boy friend/ girlfriend) bityo utavaho witesha amahirwe yo gukunda no gukundwa.

Urubuga rwa internet twifashishije tubitegura (www.anvari.org), rugaragaza ko hari ibikorwa by’urukundo (romantic things) bigera kuri 50 umuhungu cyangwa se umukobwa ashobora gukora kugira ngo ashimishe uwo akunda kandi binamufashe no kumva ibyiza byo kuba mu rukundo.


Muri ibyo 50 twabatoranirijemo 20 bishobora kubafasha kurunga/kuryoshya urukundo rwanyu.

Ibyo bikorwa ni ibi bikurikira:

1. Mu gihe uri kumwe n’uwo ukunda, jya ugerageza kumubwira mu ijwi ryoroheje ndetse akenshi  nujya kumubwira akantu gasekeje cg se k’ibanga ujye  ukoresha kumwongorera, ngo kuko ibi bituma yumva ibizongamubiri n’itandukaniro riri hagati yawe n’abandi.

2. Gerageza kumufata mu kiganza igihe muri kumwe mugendana, ngo kuko ibi bituma akwiyumvamo cyane, akanumva ko utamuri kure.

3. Niba kandi yagusuye, muhamagare umujyane mu gikoni mutegurane ifunguro. Urugero nk’umureti, agafiriti, gukaranga ubunyobwa n’ibindi. Ibi  rero ngo biramushimisha kabone niyo mwateka ibitaryoshye.

4. Jya ukunda kumuha impano akenshi ndetse  wibande kuzihendutse cyane rwose ngo kandi ujye ureba iyo atatekerezaga ko wamuha.

5. Kora ubushakashatsi umenye umwenda akunda muyo ufite hanyuma ube ari wo wambara igihe cyose muri kumwe.

6. Numuramutsa, jya umuhobera cyane kandi umwegereye kabone niyo mwaba muherukana vuba.

7. Fata igihe umubwire mutemberane mujye ahantu kure n’amaguru kandi hitaruye nko ku mucanga, mu ishyamba n’ahandi.

8. Jya ukunda kumubwira ko ari we wenyine wifuza kandi utamubeshya.

9. Fata akanya igihe muri kumwe umufate ku rutugu, umurebe mu maso  na we akurebe, mumare nk’iminota ibiri mutavuga, ubone umubwire ko umukunda nibiba ngombwa unamusome utamuteguje.

10. Kora akantu kerekana ko mukundana igihe muri no mu bantu benshi.

11. Muririmbire kabone nubwo waba udafite ijwi ryiza ngo we biramshimisha

12. Mutumire aze musangire ifunguro haba mu rugo cyangwa se muri restora.

13.Mufate akaboko umurebe mumaso hanyuma umusome ku kiganza nurangiza uhite ugishyira mu gituza cyawe mu gice guherereyemo umutima (ibi biba byiza ngo iyo bikozwe n’umuhungu).

14. Jya umusaba uburenganzira bwo kumuhamagra  kenshi.

15. Mu gihe wagize akazi kenshi, gerageza gushakisha byibura iminota mike ujye ahantu hatari urusaku hanyuma umuhamagare wibuke no kumubwira ijambo ngo “ndagukunda” (I love you).

16. Gerageza kumukorera ibintu bimwereka ko harimo ubwitange ariko wirinde kumubwira ko witanze. Wowe bikore, hanyuma we abibone utarinze kubimubwira.

17. Gerageza kumushushanyiriza ibyishimo  byo kuba ari we muri kumwe mu rukundo.

18. Mufashe kwitoza kubwirana amagambo y’urukundo mu ndimi z’amahanga

19. Mujye mukorana gahunda zimwe na zimwe nko kujyana gusenga, kureba film, umupira  n’ibindi bitandukanye ariko mwirinde kubana  ahantu hamwe ( mu gipangu kimwe).

20. Jya wibuka amatariki afata nk’ingirakamaro  mu buzima  bwe nk’itariki ye y’amavuko, iy’umubatizo we, umunsi w’umutagatifu we n’izindi kandi umwereke ko wabyibutse.

Gukunda no gukundwa biba byiza ariko cyane cyane iyo hari icyo ubona bikumariye kuba mu rukundo. Mu gihe ufite uwo ukuunda rero ntugomba kugereka akaguru ku kandi ngo wumve ko cyakemutse ahubwo ngo ugomba  guhora  wita ku wo ukunda ushakisha icyo wamukorera,  wibanda cyane cyane ku byamushimisha kugira ngo urukundo rwanyu ruhore rwaka. Mu gihe hari ibindi ushaka kumenya mu bijyanye n’ibyo wakora ngo ushimishe uwo ukunda ushobora gusura ururubuga http://www.anvari.org/ ubundi ukarushaho kuryohereza umukunzi.

 



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Menya niba koko agukunda cyangwa se ko ashaka ko mwinjirana mu rukundo


 

 

1. Kugushyira muri gahunda ze z’ejo hazaza. Uyu muhungu ahora yihatira gukora ibikorwa bibafitiye mwembi ejo hazaza akamaro. Niyo ntacyo murageraho, wumva mu nzozi ze harimo kuzabana na we ubuzima bwe bwose.


2. Kugusekera cyangwa kumwenyurana ibinezaneza igihe akubonye, Umuhungu ugukunda niyo yaba ababaye, iyo akubonye kubera ko uba uri umuntu w’agaciro imbere ye no mu buzima bwe, aba yumva agiye kugutura agahinda ke akaruhuka kuko aba yizeye ko umutwaro afite ugiye kuwumwakira. Ni kimwe n’iyo yishimye, ahora yumva ashaka kugusangiza ibyishimo bye bya buri munsi ndetse bya buri mwanya.


3. Kugucira bugufi yagukorera ikosa akagira ishyaka ryo kugusaba imbabazi vuba kandi aciye bugufi, n’igihe ari wowe kandi wamukoshereje, iyo umusabye imbabazi ubikuye ku mutima arakumva akaziguha kandi akakugira n’inama ku buryo wazajya wirinda amakosa.


4. Kuguha impano zisanzwe zidahanitse kandi n’igihe runaka kitateguwe, nta mpamvu aziguhereye, nta kintu kidasanzwe wabaye. Izi mpano si izihanitse kuko akantu kose uhawe n’uwo ukunda kandi nawe agukunda wumva ari impano.


5. Gukunda kukwitegereza. Umuhungu ugukunda uzasanga akunda kukureba, aguhozaho ijisho, akantu kose ukoze niyo waba uzi ko atakubonye uzisanga yakubonye kare kandi neza, niho nusitara gahoro cyane uzumva yakubwiye ngo komera, niwitsamura cyangwa ukajya kwitsamura bikanga azahita akubwira ngo urakire, nimuvugana utishimye utari wabimubwira uzumva ahise akubaza ngo umeze ute cyangwa ngo uravuga nk’utameze neza.


6. Kukwisanzuraho kugeza ubwo akubwira amateka y’ubuzima bwe atandukanye ndetse akihatira kukubaza amateka yawe yose, uzasanga ashaka kumenyana n’abo mu muryango wawe, amateka yawe ya kera. Ibyo uzamubwira waciyemo bibabaje uzajya wumva bimubabaje n’ubwo byashize azajya akwihanganisha kandi ubyumve ko abikuye ku mutima koko.


7. Kukwemera uko uri kose.Umuhungu wagukunze akagera n’igihe agusaba urukundo ni uko uba waramunyuze mu by’ukuri. Igihe rero muzamarana igihe kirekire mukundana agakomeza kukubwira ko umunyura, akwishimira kandi agakomeza kukubaha nk’uko byatangiye. Abakundana bemerana ingeso buri umwe afite iyo ntacyo zibangamiraho urukundo rwabo, ariko nabwo abakundana barafashanya mu buryo butandukanye harimo gutozanya imico myiza no kwigishanya kureka utugeso tumwe na tumwe tubangamira ubuzima bwa buri munsi bakatureka.

8. Kukugirira ishema. Umuhungu ugukunda aterwa ishema na we, niho uzabona igihe mugendana agufata akaboko, ari nk’umurinzi wawe. Iki ni kimwe mu bimenyetso by’ingenzi bikoreshwa igihe abakundana bari kugendana. Iyo umuhungu agukunda aba yumva yanabyereka buri wese ko mukundana, aba yumva nta banga ririmo ko mukundana.

9. Kukwifungurira. Umuhungu utagira icyo aguhisha ndetse n’amakosa ye. Yewe n’iyo yagukoreye amakosa wowe ntuhite uyabona we aragutanga akayakwibwirira kandi akayagusabira imbabazi.

10. Uritondere abahungu bafite akarimi karyoshye kandi gashyushye. Ntibyoroha kwirengagiza amagambo aryoheye amatwi ariko ayo magambo akenshi aba yuzuye uburyarya. Amagambo akenshi arabeshya niyo mpamvu ari byiza cyane kugendera ku bikorwa n’imyitwarire bigaragara. Hari abahungu batabarika bigarurira abakobwa bakoresheje utugambo turyoshye kandi mu mitima yabo bafite izindi nyungu bagendereye bashaka kugeraho zitandukaye n’urukundo rw’ukuri.