NSENGIMANA JEAN BOSCO

Hirya no Hino

Uburyo 10 Wakwifashisha Wirinda Amakimbirane

Posted on November 9, 2011 at 2:50 AM

 


One of the most important skills you can learn and develop is how to deal successfully with conflict. Successful individuals seem to have an inherent understanding of what causes conflicts and how to resolve them quickly. For others, however, it’s much harder.


During my 20 years I’ve worked with people at all levels, in a wide swath of industries and across many countries. During those periods, I’ve learned that the best conflict managers often employ a few common approaches to prevent or overcome potential issues before they become major obstacles.


Use the following tips and tactics in your professional as well as your personal life. It could help you to become one those great “conflict resolution experts” that others may call on for help.


1: Ask questionsConflict can arise due to poor communication — someone didn’t say what they meant to say or perhaps misstated what was intended. Before you allow an escalation, ask questions. It won’t cause any loss of face, and may result in a quick resolution.


2: Analyze expectationsOften, conflicts develop as a result of unmet expectations on one side. If the other party — expected something they didn’t get or something that didn’t happen, the whole conversation can become negative and closed. If a conversation seems to be getting rocky, take a step back and review together with the other person to try to uncover what just occurred.


3: Recognize differing perspectivesKeep in mind that conflict may arise due to people having different perceptions. You, or the other person, saw things differently. This happens most frequently when one is dealing with someone from another organization, background, or culture. It’s easy to believe that we all see things the same way and then get derailed unexpectedly.


4. Identify mistakesHonest and unintended mistakes frequently result in conflict. Before you let temperatures rise, do a reality check of your understanding with the other person(s). Mistakes, even small ones, can erode one’s credibility — someone made a mistake.


5: Watch out for emotional triggersBeware of emotions. Fear of someone or somebody, loss of face, whether real or perceived, anger, and surprisingly even excitement can all result in unintended conflict, which may cause your interaction to go downhill.


6: Focus on preventing escalationConflict resolutions always start with one or both parties making an honest attempt at avoiding further escalation. This recognition, even if only by one of those involved, often causes a more objective review to occur.


7: Take action to control the situationEscalation-avoidance tactics may involve one of more key steps including separating the parties, changing the location of the discussion, signaling empathy to the other involved.


8: Commit to working it outTake charge of the process by committing to reach a resolution. A powerful impact occurs when one person makes this statement. It can turn down the temperature immediately.


9: De-escalate the conflictDe-escalation is next: This can be accomplished with a joint statement of the facts at hand, always eliminating exaggerations, embellishments or personalities, which may inadvertently apply judgments and re-created the cycle of escalation.

10: Stay calmCooler heads prevail in even the most difficult conflicts. Whether you’re in a business or personal situation, you can take control of it by keeping cool. And when you’re maintaining your calm, it will be easier for others involved to get back to the task at hand.

 


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Menya niba koko agukunda cyangwa se ko ashaka ko mwinjirana mu rukundo


 

 

1. Kugushyira muri gahunda ze z’ejo hazaza. Uyu muhungu ahora yihatira gukora ibikorwa bibafitiye mwembi ejo hazaza akamaro. Niyo ntacyo murageraho, wumva mu nzozi ze harimo kuzabana na we ubuzima bwe bwose.


2. Kugusekera cyangwa kumwenyurana ibinezaneza igihe akubonye, Umuhungu ugukunda niyo yaba ababaye, iyo akubonye kubera ko uba uri umuntu w’agaciro imbere ye no mu buzima bwe, aba yumva agiye kugutura agahinda ke akaruhuka kuko aba yizeye ko umutwaro afite ugiye kuwumwakira. Ni kimwe n’iyo yishimye, ahora yumva ashaka kugusangiza ibyishimo bye bya buri munsi ndetse bya buri mwanya.


3. Kugucira bugufi yagukorera ikosa akagira ishyaka ryo kugusaba imbabazi vuba kandi aciye bugufi, n’igihe ari wowe kandi wamukoshereje, iyo umusabye imbabazi ubikuye ku mutima arakumva akaziguha kandi akakugira n’inama ku buryo wazajya wirinda amakosa.


4. Kuguha impano zisanzwe zidahanitse kandi n’igihe runaka kitateguwe, nta mpamvu aziguhereye, nta kintu kidasanzwe wabaye. Izi mpano si izihanitse kuko akantu kose uhawe n’uwo ukunda kandi nawe agukunda wumva ari impano.


5. Gukunda kukwitegereza. Umuhungu ugukunda uzasanga akunda kukureba, aguhozaho ijisho, akantu kose ukoze niyo waba uzi ko atakubonye uzisanga yakubonye kare kandi neza, niho nusitara gahoro cyane uzumva yakubwiye ngo komera, niwitsamura cyangwa ukajya kwitsamura bikanga azahita akubwira ngo urakire, nimuvugana utishimye utari wabimubwira uzumva ahise akubaza ngo umeze ute cyangwa ngo uravuga nk’utameze neza.


6. Kukwisanzuraho kugeza ubwo akubwira amateka y’ubuzima bwe atandukanye ndetse akihatira kukubaza amateka yawe yose, uzasanga ashaka kumenyana n’abo mu muryango wawe, amateka yawe ya kera. Ibyo uzamubwira waciyemo bibabaje uzajya wumva bimubabaje n’ubwo byashize azajya akwihanganisha kandi ubyumve ko abikuye ku mutima koko.


7. Kukwemera uko uri kose.Umuhungu wagukunze akagera n’igihe agusaba urukundo ni uko uba waramunyuze mu by’ukuri. Igihe rero muzamarana igihe kirekire mukundana agakomeza kukubwira ko umunyura, akwishimira kandi agakomeza kukubaha nk’uko byatangiye. Abakundana bemerana ingeso buri umwe afite iyo ntacyo zibangamiraho urukundo rwabo, ariko nabwo abakundana barafashanya mu buryo butandukanye harimo gutozanya imico myiza no kwigishanya kureka utugeso tumwe na tumwe tubangamira ubuzima bwa buri munsi bakatureka.

8. Kukugirira ishema. Umuhungu ugukunda aterwa ishema na we, niho uzabona igihe mugendana agufata akaboko, ari nk’umurinzi wawe. Iki ni kimwe mu bimenyetso by’ingenzi bikoreshwa igihe abakundana bari kugendana. Iyo umuhungu agukunda aba yumva yanabyereka buri wese ko mukundana, aba yumva nta banga ririmo ko mukundana.

9. Kukwifungurira. Umuhungu utagira icyo aguhisha ndetse n’amakosa ye. Yewe n’iyo yagukoreye amakosa wowe ntuhite uyabona we aragutanga akayakwibwirira kandi akayagusabira imbabazi.

10. Uritondere abahungu bafite akarimi karyoshye kandi gashyushye. Ntibyoroha kwirengagiza amagambo aryoheye amatwi ariko ayo magambo akenshi aba yuzuye uburyarya. Amagambo akenshi arabeshya niyo mpamvu ari byiza cyane kugendera ku bikorwa n’imyitwarire bigaragara. Hari abahungu batabarika bigarurira abakobwa bakoresheje utugambo turyoshye kandi mu mitima yabo bafite izindi nyungu bagendereye bashaka kugeraho zitandukaye n’urukundo rw’ukuri.